Last Day of my life…as me!

I am someone who is strong, who never accept defeats, someone who don’t know how to cry. I live my life to the fullest; I enjoyed life but didn’t realize what it really meant for me. There are so many things that happen in my life. There are lots of ups and down, lot of tears but there’s a lot of laughter. Life is so easy for me. I been into vices, I even allow to be manipulated by other people. I believed that was the most beautiful life I ever had. When I got my work here in Manila, life seems to be nothing but enjoyment, nothing but fun, nothing but addiction, nothing but competing others but every time I got home, I feel that something is missing in my life.

Life must go on as they say but every time I open my room when coming home, all alone, I am not aware that tears are coming in my eyes. I don’t know if I am just missing my family or is it because I am just alone. Things get worse and worse, there’s emptiness in me but I can’t figure out what is that emptiness and how I can resist it.

One time a friend invited me to visit somewhere else one Tuesday night of August. From there, I met Him again. I knew Him before but I really don’t have a relationship with Him. That was the day that I told myself to love Him again, to allow Him to stay in my life. I don’t know but every time I come home there’s a smile in my face and slowly the emptiness in me is filled with so much joy and love.

These coming days in my life is very significant to me coz He’ll be taking my life from me. I’ll be submitting myself to Him, totally submitting my whole life and this life is not mine anymore, He will owned my life. He will wash my life and take all those bad memories, He will take all the pain in my heart and He will fill it with so much love and I’ll never be the same again.

I might be leaving my family, my friends and the people that surrounds me because of this journey I have with Him, I know I will be happy with Him and I will share the love that I never felt before. I’m ready to take the cross with Him.

Living in a Box (The Family)

Life is worth living for. That's what I have always in my mind. The question is "How worthy life is if you are living in a box?" Not literally living in a box, but look around you, do you think most people are living outside the box? Nope, most of us are living inside the box. Not all but most of us are just living inside a box. No freedom, limited space, uncomfortable and it takes a lot of sacrifice.

I have seen a lot of families whose parents are working abroad, children are living on their own. Parents can afford to provide everything for their children but in return they are suffering from being away from their love ones. It's not wrong to work hard for our children, what's wrong is that parents forget that their children need them more than the money. What's worst when family is not a whole family at all, when children are starting to beg for love to other people and parents choose to separate their ways because love starts to fade in their hearts.

I am a commuter and everyday of my life I have seen families beside the street begging for something to eat. Sometimes I think it's normal but I realized it's not. It become normal for most of us because we used to see them everyday of our life. I am fortunate than them but why it's so hard for me to help them? I am willing to help but I have nothing to help, I have a limited resources to help them. I can share something for them but what's the hardest thing is that I can't even help my own family. I can't help them in the sense that I don't have an idea if they are eating well, are they comfortable, are they having enough money for their daily needs!? It's an irony but it's true.

I'm pretty sure that you are familiar with the word "Buena Familia". They are family who can afford to buy what they want. But do you think these people are the happiest people? I knew some but they are not happy in what they have and what they are. Fighting each other, having problem with their security, working so hard as if they know nothing but money. No love only money. Their happiness is based on their money. They have also limitations and it seems they are living inside the box.

As far as I have observed, whether rich or poor, most of us are living inside the box. Can you ask yourself with these questions and try to reflect it on your own. How can we get out from there? What is there outside the box that we should be aiming for? Is there any something special outside the box? There are so many reasons why should we get out from box of our life because there is life outside that box.

(My personal thanks to Mr. Angelo Javier for allowing me to use his photos. I am using his photos instead of using a family photos is because this is exactly how I want you to picture out life, inside the box, uncomfortable, limited space, happy eyes, contented yet there is pain in the eyes, mysterious and you don't know what it really mean unless you will put yourself how does it feels like inside the box.)